The Internet's Worst

So, I set a goal for myself: An insane challenge to beat The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt in under 1 month. Part 3: Personal context and character. Whoops, never mind. The books suck. Though, at least I now understand why Gerry constantly narrates to himself in the game: he does it all the time in the book. So why was this an “insane challenge?” Because it was a personal challenge. I typically play around 300 video games a year and yes, I am aware of how insane that seems. Usually, this means a game has to be exceptionally well made or fun to hold my attention for more than a few hours. I get bored easily. In truth, my 2 cohorts, Jo Stizzy and Rob had already beaten Witcher 3 and since I started in December, I wanted to bum-rush though the game before year’s end. So, why don’t I agree with them that it’s Game of the Year materiel? We have to go back to my play-through of The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings. A middling-to-enjoyable action RPG, with goofy combat systems...

So, I set a goal for myself: An insane challenge to beat The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt in under 1 month. Part 2; Sex, drugs, dodge and roll I’ve finally found some fun. In the game’s first major city, Noveria, shrinking down the map size, moving gameplay into the town streets and indoors, makes this more of a manageable RPG. Open-world as a gaming term has gotten out of control. Skyrim , at least, allowed you to fast-travel from anywhere outdoors. Dragon Age Inquisition , at least, had pithy party dialogue in between camps. The Witcher 3 has Gerry riding or running for miles and miles hoping to stumble upon a signpost. I’ve finally figured out the trick to combat: the crossbow. Roll away, shoot bolt. Roll away, shoot bolt. This turns every fight into a dance macabre, plunking away 5 damage at a time. Load up on potions and food. Meditate after every fight to avoid spending resources. Soon your inventory will be 50% raw meat and 50% water. Now you are the Wild...

So, I set a goal for myself: An insane challenge to beat The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt in under 1 month. Part 1: Holy shit, do I not care about your backstory. The characters are awful. The dialogue is terrible. Mumbly main guy Gerry just doesn’t give a fuck about anything. This makes the game so uninteresting to both play and watch. Skipping the dialogue and cut-scenes crashed the game. How much bias am I bringing back from the problems with the prequel: Assassins of Free Time? A lot. Perhaps I shouldn't have bought this game. But I’ll be the dissenting opinion because everyone is tripping over themselves to praise this thing. I’m a natural hipster: if a thing is popular, I question why. If a thing is not popular, I question why not. I care about personal experiences rather than letting someone else dictate all opinions. Thrust, parry, dodge, spin, drink water, and eat bread. The combat is the clumsiest thing I’ve seen since Buldur’s Fucking ...

The Internet's Worst Gaming Podcast returns! This episode, every major video game release of the fall gets debated and dissected: Halo 5: Guardians Need for Speed Fallout 4 Rise of the Tomb Raider Assassin's Creed: Syndicate Black Ops 3 and even more than that! Plus, Loki really hates Twitch streamers, Rob  debuts "The Indie Report," and Nick breaks down every Madden game ever. This holiday season, be grateful for: Ep 26: Thanksgaming

The Internet's Worst Gaming Podcast! Because why not? Loki , Rob and Stizzy return to talk about the Fall's latest game releases: Uncharted: The Nathan Drake Collection Star Wars Battlefront ( Beta ) Rock Band 4 The announcement of Far Cry Primal Plus, Loki professes his love for racing games, Stizzy claims to enjoy Dion and the Belmonts and Rob proves how much of a competitor he is. All that and more! Episode 25: Rocktober

The Internet's Worst Gaming Podcast is back in action! The gang's all here! Join Loki , Rob and Jo Stizzy as they rejoin forces to discuss the serious topic of the possible impending video game voice-actor work strike.  Can our normally comedic crew handle the grim business of contract negotiations and money? Will the guys align with the union, or scab across the picket-line of bad opinions? Plus, a new feature, " The Best Games You Never Played !" We each try to bring up great older or obscure games that the other two never played or have heard of. Undersold downloadable titles from Rob PS1 Classics from Stizzy And last-gen gems from Loki . Enjoy today! Episode 24: Silent ReUnion My voice goes out with about 10 minutes left in the show. See if you can tell.

The Internet's Worst gaming podcast returns again as Rob rejoins the show! Join Loki and Rob as they recap the summer of games, with Batman: Arkham Knight , The Order 1886 , Life is Strange , Hotline Miami , Rocket League, Bloodborne and even more! Plus, Rob reviews indie games and we debate whether "indie" games still exist. This is part two of a multi-show update and recap for Internet's Worst. Contains major spoilers for Batman: Arkham Knight and The Order 1886 Episode 23b: Batman and Rob 

After 2 months off, The Internet's Worst gaming podcast returns! Join Loki and the returning Jo Stizzy as they discuss all things Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain . Gameplay, story, and more. Plus, a brief history of the Metal Gear franchise and a synopsis on Kojima Productions and Konami publishing's fallout. This episode is part one of a multi-show update and recap for Internet's Worst. Shows with Rob and Nick coming shortly. Contains minor spoilers for the first hour of Phantom Pain. Episode 23a: Metal Gear Stizzy Again, link may require download. Will move from Google drive hosting soon. 

The Internet's Worst returns!  Well, of them anyway. Loki Jarson swears this is the last time he will ever discuss From Software's masterpiece: Dark Souls . No, really, I mean it. Last time ever. Enjoy this special solo effort as Loki recants every bad thing he ever said about Dark Souls and heaps praise on it! For like, 20 minutes! Are those awkward pauses in speech a result of a stammer or poor editing?  You decide!  Episode Special: Loki Talks Dark Souls for Like 20 Minutes  note:Streaming may not be available, requiring a download. Thanks, Google drive.

Live! From the internet! It's E3 2015! Get the final word on the Electronic Entertainment Expo 2015 with The Internet's Worst gaming podcast! We break down the conferences and announcements by: Microsoft , Sony , EA , Ubisoft and more! Trailers, gameplay demos, pointless bits and lousy hosts! It's all here! And, just like E3 , this episode is filled with bad hosts, technical issues, and missing content! Enjoy now!  Episode 22: E3 2105 Show notes: this episode was recorded in 6 parts over 4 days. Skype, at times, was miserable to work with, so Stizzy was unavailable to record during the Sony conference segment. We also lost a significant amount of audio from the EA conference which I'll say here: 10 minutes of Pele talking about soccer is bullshit. We apologize for any convenience.