The Internet's Worst

The Internet's Worst Gaming Podcast once again was Live from PAX South! But then, this episode was recorded late because I was very sick. Loki Jarson and Jo Stizzy breakdown the full Expo experience, including: Panels! Floor Demos! Cosplay! Poor lighting conditions! Parking issues! Badly taken pictures! And even more! Plus, Loki rants yet again about Twitch streamers and Stizzy plays video game psychologist.  Enjoy today! Episode 28: Late! from PAX South 2016 Note: apologies for the horrible copy-written song in the background during the intro.

Yeah, so, I beat Witcher 3 way back on December 23.  Turns out a 1-month deadline for an epic open-world RPG really wasn't that big a deal. So, why has it taken so long for this final write-up? Because I've written and re-written this whole stupid essay, like 4 times now, on how I don't think The Witcher 3 is a bad game but I just hate it. Certainly, there are things I like about it, but those are overwhelmed by shit I don't. Stuff I hate: Combat: slow, clunky. Whoops, took out the wrong sword, gotta get smacked in the face by a wolf now. Main character Geralt and his voice actor Doug Cockle: Dude belongs in the Hall of Fame of garbage voice actors. *gruff, scratchy voice* "Have you seen Ciri? No? Wanna play the world's shittiest card game, then?" Yennifer: Nope, that's how she spells it. "Geralt, do this thing for me. Geralt, will you help me with this? Geralt, hurry up, why is the main quest taking you so long? Have you see...

You've waited all year and here it is! The Internet's Worst gaming podcast Best Games of 2015! The Witcher 3 , Fallout 4 , Life is Strange , Rocket League , Batman: Arkham Knight , Black Ops 3 ! Where do these hit games stack up in our lists?  Which game will be the best of the best of the best? Also, indie games, great HD remakes and even a few surprises! This is a continuation of the previous episode, so after the intro, it immediately goes right into our Honorable Mentions of the year. Finally, we discuss how these games make us feel and look forward to 2016.   Spoilers abound for every game ever! Plus: Loki thinks that he clicks his tongue too much. Stizzy feels that he talks too much. Rob loves himself some RPGs. and Nick is not in this episode, but he said he favorite game was Black Ops 3 , because that was the only game from 2015 he played. Episode 27b: The Absolute Best of 2015 note...

The Internet's Worst gaming podcast returns! 2015 is over, which means it's time for the yearly game awards. First up, the absolute worst, un-fun and most boring games of 2015. From poor design choices and graphical issues, to games that were just plain disappointing, there's a bit of everything in this episode. Also, honorable"meh"tions returns for the second year in a row: games we didn't hate, but could and should have been much better. Plus:  Loki gets madder and madder as his list goes on. Rob  despises repetitiveness. and Stizzy proves himself the most clever of all. Episode 27a: The Dirt Worst of 2015  Note: this is another 2-parter, with the best games episode coming Monday, Jan 4. I split them into two shows for length concerns.  

So, I set a goal for myself: An insane challenge to beat The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt in under 1 month. Part 3: Personal context and character. Whoops, never mind. The books suck. Though, at least I now understand why Gerry constantly narrates to himself in the game: he does it all the time in the book. So why was this an “insane challenge?” Because it was a personal challenge. I typically play around 300 video games a year and yes, I am aware of how insane that seems. Usually, this means a game has to be exceptionally well made or fun to hold my attention for more than a few hours. I get bored easily. In truth, my 2 cohorts, Jo Stizzy and Rob had already beaten Witcher 3 and since I started in December, I wanted to bum-rush though the game before year’s end. So, why don’t I agree with them that it’s Game of the Year materiel? We have to go back to my play-through of The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings. A middling-to-enjoyable action RPG, with goofy combat systems...

So, I set a goal for myself: An insane challenge to beat The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt in under 1 month. Part 2; Sex, drugs, dodge and roll I’ve finally found some fun. In the game’s first major city, Noveria, shrinking down the map size, moving gameplay into the town streets and indoors, makes this more of a manageable RPG. Open-world as a gaming term has gotten out of control. Skyrim , at least, allowed you to fast-travel from anywhere outdoors. Dragon Age Inquisition , at least, had pithy party dialogue in between camps. The Witcher 3 has Gerry riding or running for miles and miles hoping to stumble upon a signpost. I’ve finally figured out the trick to combat: the crossbow. Roll away, shoot bolt. Roll away, shoot bolt. This turns every fight into a dance macabre, plunking away 5 damage at a time. Load up on potions and food. Meditate after every fight to avoid spending resources. Soon your inventory will be 50% raw meat and 50% water. Now you are the Wild...

So, I set a goal for myself: An insane challenge to beat The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt in under 1 month. Part 1: Holy shit, do I not care about your backstory. The characters are awful. The dialogue is terrible. Mumbly main guy Gerry just doesn’t give a fuck about anything. This makes the game so uninteresting to both play and watch. Skipping the dialogue and cut-scenes crashed the game. How much bias am I bringing back from the problems with the prequel: Assassins of Free Time? A lot. Perhaps I shouldn't have bought this game. But I’ll be the dissenting opinion because everyone is tripping over themselves to praise this thing. I’m a natural hipster: if a thing is popular, I question why. If a thing is not popular, I question why not. I care about personal experiences rather than letting someone else dictate all opinions. Thrust, parry, dodge, spin, drink water, and eat bread. The combat is the clumsiest thing I’ve seen since Buldur’s Fucking ...

The Internet's Worst Gaming Podcast returns! This episode, every major video game release of the fall gets debated and dissected: Halo 5: Guardians Need for Speed Fallout 4 Rise of the Tomb Raider Assassin's Creed: Syndicate Black Ops 3 and even more than that! Plus, Loki really hates Twitch streamers, Rob  debuts "The Indie Report," and Nick breaks down every Madden game ever. This holiday season, be grateful for: Ep 26: Thanksgaming

The Internet's Worst Gaming Podcast! Because why not? Loki , Rob and Stizzy return to talk about the Fall's latest game releases: Uncharted: The Nathan Drake Collection Star Wars Battlefront ( Beta ) Rock Band 4 The announcement of Far Cry Primal Plus, Loki professes his love for racing games, Stizzy claims to enjoy Dion and the Belmonts and Rob proves how much of a competitor he is. All that and more! Episode 25: Rocktober

The Internet's Worst Gaming Podcast is back in action! The gang's all here! Join Loki , Rob and Jo Stizzy as they rejoin forces to discuss the serious topic of the possible impending video game voice-actor work strike.  Can our normally comedic crew handle the grim business of contract negotiations and money? Will the guys align with the union, or scab across the picket-line of bad opinions? Plus, a new feature, " The Best Games You Never Played !" We each try to bring up great older or obscure games that the other two never played or have heard of. Undersold downloadable titles from Rob PS1 Classics from Stizzy And last-gen gems from Loki . Enjoy today! Episode 24: Silent ReUnion My voice goes out with about 10 minutes left in the show. See if you can tell.